I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
It was like something out of a fucked up fairy tale. He just crowdsurfed over to her while riding a keg, said "come sail with me", and then the crowd carried them off into the night. What.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
Randomize
