I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
