Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
After he finished he sang his college fight song like it was some victory
he has to serve us drink and appetizers in his french maid costume for the Pirates game tonight. Bring everyone.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
