Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
I'm in the ER bruh, I went skinny dipping last night and a cat fish bit my dick.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
*goes to show prof a picture* *forgets tit pic is in camera roll*
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
