You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
