Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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