idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
