Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Randomize
