So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
