Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
