Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
Why do my balls have what looks like rust on them?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
