Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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