her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Randomize
