i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
