Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
