I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Brb crying the tears of my youth
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
Nope. Im a prince of the americas. I treat my women like future queens. Also, im drunk watching the royal wedding
Randomize
