my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Randomize
