Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Hypothetically speaking...if I was arrested in Wisconsin, say Kenosha county, would you post my bail all the way from Oregon? If yes, will you also accept my collect call in t-minus 13 hours?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
