Banned from zoo.
Again?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize
