loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Come over. Bring cocaine. And my t shirt with the dolphin on it.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
