i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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