Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
He smells like ham and a lifetime of poor choices
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize
