We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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