I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
