just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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