also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize
