i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
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