Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
Randomize
