Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
Randomize
