I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Randomize
