your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I'm sitting in the drive through at Mcdonalds right now watching the workers pressure wash the vomit I left from last night.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
