i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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