i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
She gives pretty bad head, but when it's in her dad's Lexus SUV it's tough to complain.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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