we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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