ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
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