tell your sister to shave her snatch
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
So high I started thinking my desktop picture of a cat was too erotic for the workplace.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
Randomize
