I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Randomize
