i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
I dropped my slice of pineapple on the kitchen floor and was just staring at it about to cry. It was really good pineapple.
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