So drunk its hurt
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
Turns out my mom didn't really want to know I was in a new dimension last night from smoking so much.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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