i never told you how having a club foot got me laid
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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