dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Dude, you can't even imagine the trip, I actually thought that there were Care Bears sitting next to me at the bar, I'm pretty sure I started hitting on the pink one.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
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