I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
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