have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
