Dual....:-)
I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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