It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
Success! We fucked roommates!
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