Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
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