Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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