be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
Pants are for mortals
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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