Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
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