I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
Randomize
