She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
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