new low: just stole a ciggarette from a bum sleeping on the side of the street.
ohh what kind?
Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
