you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
Do you think wearing a shirt that says I like penis is too much for tonight?
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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