eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Lo siento on account of my penis...
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
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